


Willingly Blind

by A_Lily_In_The_Moonlight



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: All that hot stuff, First Kiss, M/M, Making-out, kiss practice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 21:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8225429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Lily_In_The_Moonlight/pseuds/A_Lily_In_The_Moonlight
Summary: Of course James has been kissed before. Definitely. Don't be ridiculous, Padfoot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and (constructive) criticism are super welcome! English isn't my first language so it's likely I've made a few mistakes. Don't hesitate to point them out, I'll correct them asap.
> 
> Thank you for your time and enjoy!

                One thing he loved about wearing glasses was that when they were off, safely tucked in the small pocket on his bedside table at night or early in the morning, the world around him stopped making sense. Lights, shades, colours, shapes, branches etched on the ceiling, piles of autumn leaves on the ground. Tall, wide, four-legged, headless creatures snoring quietly. His body submerged in the cold light of the crescent moon. Pale spiders dancing in front of him.

                He put his hands down. “Sirius?”

                A grunt came from the back of the room.

                “’You asleep?” he asked again, with more caution.

                “Whattaya think?”

                “Are you really going to ask Melanie out?”

                Sirius’s head poked out of his bed and James gathered his legs under him and sat, pulling the heavy duvet around his shoulders.

                “’Course I am.” He could almost see the smug look on his friend’s face.

                “Aren’t you afraid she’s gonna say no?”

                “Are you kidding me? Why on earth would she say no?”

                “Shhh!” James protested, not wanting to wake the others. But with another fumbling sound, the smack of knuckles on something wooden and a couple of muttered Silencios, Remus and Peter’s sleepy breaths vanished.

                He lied back down, crossing his arms behind his head.

                “Are you gonna snog her?”

                “Well, that is kind of the point, isn’t it?”

                “Aren’t you scared?”

                His face got warm.

                “Scared of what?” Sirius asked.

                James kept his eyes firmly stuck on the ceiling, trying to imagine that the bigger cracks in the stone were actually branches, and that an owl or two had taken refuge in them. Uncrossing his arms, he wiped his sweaty hands on the sheets.

                “I’m just asking,” he grumbled, probably too low for his friend to hear.

                “James…” the Gryffindor started, a bit hesitantly.

                “Forget it.”

                “Do you mean…”

                “I mean nothing, Black,” he snapped, turning away from his best friend. Starting that conversation had been the stupidest idea ever – and he’d had his fair share of stupid ideas. “It was just a question. A dumb one, granted. It doesn’t mean– it means nothing.”

                The mattress of Sirius’s bed squeaked, and then the sound of barefooted steps echoed in the room. James swore under his breath.

                “Mate,” the boy started again, “have you never – like – kissed anyone?” The laughter was very poorly hidden behind the caution in his tone.

                “Don’t be ridiculous,” James growled unconvincingly.

                The bed bent a little when Sirius sat on it and James considered turning around to push him off – but even he wasn’t that immature.

                “Saving yourself for Evans, are you?” Sirius mocked.

                All things considered, maybe he was. He sat up and kicked his friend off the bed, making them both laugh before Sirius sat back on the mattress again.

                “Look,” he said. “Don’t be stupid. She’ll never go out with you. And even if she did, and she realised how bad a kisser you are because you’ve never actually practiced, she’d dump you right away. Not a good plan, mate.”

                Surprisingly enough, Sirius – Sirius! – was actually kind of making sense.

                “Isn’t it supposed to just happen?” James bargained.

                “Sure,” his friend said. “When you’re like eleven and none of you know what you’re doing. But when you’re fourteen, you’re supposed to have a bit of skill, if y’know what I mean.”

                There was probably a blink at the end of that sentence, but as much as he squinted his eyes, he had a hard time making his friend’s features out.

                “You need practice,” Sirius concluded. “It’s getting urgent.”

                James rolled his eyes.

                “Don’t you think you’re making it too big of a deal?”

                “Well, I’m not the one who’s scared of…”

                “Oh, shut up!”

                Sirius laughed out loud and James hushed him again, glancing around worriedly.

                “Chill, mate. I cast a Silencio, remember? We can do whatever we want, no one will hear us.”

                A fierce blush coloured his cheeks at the implied suggestion, and for the first time in the evening, James wished he had his glasses on. When Sirius was like that, there was no telling whether he was playing around unless you could see the mischievous gleam in his eye. And right now, he could barely even see his eyes at all. He turned to his bedtable, but a hand grabbed his arm before he could reach for the glasses.

                “Are you in, then?” Sirius asked.

                “In for what?”

                “Whatever we want, of course.”

                His hand was still firmly wrapped around James’ arm, whose blush hadn’t subsided.

                “A–are you serious?” he stammered.

                “I’m always Sirius.”

                “You’re a boy,” James stated.

                “Big deal.”

                “You’re my best friend!”

                “That’s the great thing about it. You won’t get too embarrassed when I laugh at your stupid, inexperienced face.”

                “Sod off, you jerk!”

                A hand smacked his head and it really wasn’t fair because he always managed to dodge Sirius vicious attacks when he had his glasses on. Shouldn’t have taken them off at all tonight.

                “Don’t be a prissy, Jamsie,” Sirius mocked. “I promise I won’t laugh too much.”

                “Like you’d have a reason to laugh anyway,” James scowled, massaging his scalp. “I bet I’m a natural.”

                “Well, there’s only one way we can find out, isn’t there?”

                The question lingered between them without James finding something to say – either to end this joke or – or what?

                His question earlier wasn’t that dumb, he mused. Kissing was scary – and even more so when you were actively considering snogging your best friend. Who happened to be a boy. Who happened to be a rather attractive boy, actually, and that was probably the most terrifying thing about him.

                “Blimey,” he finally blurted out, because Sirius hand had slid off of his arm. “Okay. Okay, if you’re in, I’m in.”

                Was that a grin, etched on the Gryffindor’s face? He couldn’t tell, because suddenly, both of Sirius’ hands were on the sides of his head, steadying it, the fingers burying in his mess of hair.

                “I’m in,” he murmured, and James could feel the breath on his lips before he closed his eyes, who really weren’t of any use tonight, and a soft mouth landed on his own. It was more gentle than he had expected, and although his heart felt like it was fighting with all its might to escape his ribcage, and although the blood was rushing in his ears and he was blushing up to his eyelids, the warm lips moving against his own were capturing most of his attention. He quickly adjusted to the foreign sensations and reciprocating the motions, angling his head to the right to have better access to Sirius’ mouth–

                Sirius. Crap, he was kissing Sirius!

                He withdrew briskly, hands clutching the sheets, and trying to ignore how cold his face suddenly felt.

                “Not too bad, for a beginner,” Sirius joked halfheartedly.

                He had leaned back too, and James stayed speechless for a few moments. It wasn’t right to kiss a boy, it wasn’t right to enjoy it, at least. It wasn’t right that he wanted nothing more than grab Sirius’ pajama shirt and kiss him again.

                And it certainly wasn’t right to reject his best friend because he had enjoyed kissing him.

                So James grabbed Sirius’ pajama shirt and pulled him back to him – their noses and teeth hit in the process and okay, maybe glasses were good for something but – he kissed him again, and it was much messier this time as Sirius’ hands shot to the sides of his chest to pull him closer – and his own hands tugged a bit of Sirius’ hair on the back of his head – and Sirius gasped and clutched his back, drawing him even closer – and then there were tongues involved, which was a bit weird and a bit icky and a bit arousing – and then Sirius nibbled his lower lip and the groan that escaped James’ throat wasn’t premeditated – and then James’ mouth was on Sirius’ neck and someone made a moaning sound that wasn’t premeditated either and –

                And then Sirius pushed him slightly away, chest heaving, hands closed on James’s wrists.

                “Okay,” he said, out of breath. “Okay. I don’t think Evans will dump you after a kiss like that.”

                He got up and let go of James’ wrists, and barefooted steps echoed across the room as he went back to his bed. The mattress creaked, the fabric of the curtains made a smooth sound as they closed, and James stayed as still as a statue until the beast in the back of the dorm started snoring.

                It sounded fake, but what did he know? Those beasts were imaginary anyway.


End file.
